Celia Chic: My Mom Was a Fashion Inspiration

By Tyler Butler
Since I started this column I have made it a point to have the focus firmly set on the intersection where fashion meets philanthropy.
Each month this column concentrates on causes and crusaders in an effort to share their stories of giving back.  This month I was approached with the opportunity to share some perspective and memories about my own fashion inspiration, my mom, Celia Darling Butler.  So I will be taking a departure from my column’s usual format and to share some stories on how my own sense of style came to be.
This retrospective is timely, as my mom lost her battle with congestive heart failure last month.  She fought a long hard crusade over many years and endured many surgeries. Sadly, her body just could not continue.  Having had a little time to reflect on this amazing human whom I got to call mom, I feel compelled to share how she is the reason for so much of what I do and who I am.
I grew up in a gypsy nomad construction family — moving from state to state every year or so with a rough and tough crew of construction workers and of course my mom, dad and brother.  This upbringing gave me the mindset that home was wherever my family was. We never stayed anywhere long enough to call it home or say that I hailed from there.
This exposure to different places in my formative years enabled me to grow and see the different styles, cultures and communities across the land. Living in Austin, it was picking up a southern drawl and a proclivity for feminine grace. In Las Vegas, the focus was on glitz and glam juxtaposed by the rough neighborhoods that surrounded the city.  Exposure to a wide range of places and perspectives allowed me to develop my own style.
Beyond these environments, I was most influenced by my mom and her own sense of style and free spiritedness.  My mom designed her own prom dress, which was inspired by the daisy, her favorite flower.  She was a woman who took hand-me-downs and made them new by styling them differently. She shopped not based on label or brand, but instead based on fit, flair and fun.  She was a woman who would stand out in a room either because of the outrageous print she was wearing or because of her shining smile and the positivity she radiated.
My mom was incredibly flexible with me and literally allowed me to wear whatever I wanted as a child. Luckily for her my choices were never overly risqué, but there were times when they were odd and I can only imagine what other parents were thinking.  Even when playing dress-up in her closet I would find new ways to wear her clothes.  I would take items, like her sequin halter-top, and pair them with articles of my own, Then I’d strut around the house feeling empowered to express myself through fashion however I saw fit.
And much like my mom I loved to find old clothing items and reimagine them.  At one point I “borrowed” several pairs of her leg warmers, which were not yet the rage at my school, and began wearing them daily.  This trend actually took off so it was great that I found all the fashionable supplies I needed in my mom’s closet to keep up with this fad, as we usually didn’t have much money in my formative years.  I remember a time in elementary school where I had three of the same outfits in different colors, a tank-top and matching short set. Those three outfits were all I would wear for a few months.  My mom never poked or prodded me to wear something else. She just kept washing them and allowing me to choose from my three-color options. That was what I was drawn to wear at that time.
One Halloween while living in California my entire class was supposed to dress up as clowns for the day.  First, I didn’t like clowns, but more importantly, I didn’t want to conform and dress the same as everyone else.  I told my mom this and that I wanted to dress up as a ballerina.  Without hesitation she helped me fashion a ballerina costume that I proudly wore on “clown” day.  The photos of a few dozen kids as clowns and me as the lone ballerina are still among my favorite. They remind me that I had the flexibility to develop my own sense of self and my own independent thoughts on style at an age when most children were not given this same fluidity.  My mom truly believed that I should have the opportunity to just be me.
My mom had a style of her own in the way she dressed and thought.  She had a heart of gold and was drawn to all things brilliant and shiny.  She made no excuses for her for personal style. She owned it and that made her a woman that was noticed in every room she entered. She believed strongly in the power of self-expression and the right for each person to convey their own personality in whatever way made the most sense for them.
She was a crusader for acceptance and self-love.  She believed beauty was something that radiated from inside out. In her rules of life, kindness was king.  I was fortunate to have learned these valuable lessons and to have them incorporated into my life. The lessons have become part of the woman I’ve grown to be.  I feel blessed to have had such a remarkable role model. While her presence will forever be missed, I know that she alone was the greatest influence of love and light and style that I will ever have.
For that I am grateful.