Second Act: Having Lost a Child, She Now Helps Those Facing the Same

By Judy Pearson
In the natural scheme of life, most of us embrace the notion that parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children. As a parent myself, I can’t imagine the pain of my child dying. Ann Schrooten has not only experienced that pain, she relives it each time she answers the Willow Tree Foundation telephone.
Ann’s son, Jack, was born prematurely in 1998. She and her husband, Mark, took him home at six weeks. But he was repeatedly in respiratory distress, and eventually put on what they thought was a temporary ventilator. Finally, at age five, Jack received his diagnosis: a rare congenital muscular dystrophy that left him unable to walk, talk, eat or breathe without the assistance of the ventilator.
“Every day of Jack’s short, 15 year life, he radiated love,” Ann said. “He faced his life with unprecedented joy and grace, and challenged others to do the same. Doctors, nurses, family members, we all felt it.”
During Jack’s many hospitalizations, Ann came to know and care deeply for other parents of medically fragile children. “I know first hand the tremendous physical, emotional and financial stresses these parents face,” she said. “I felt compelled to do something to lighten their burden and let them know that I see them and I understand.”
In 2004, Jack, then six years old, was the inspiration to launch the Willow Tree Foundation. But the parents who get up each day, put one foot in front of the other, and give every ounce of their being to caring for their children — those folks inspired Ann as well.
The Willow Tree Foundation’s mission is to fund respite activities for parents like the ones the Schrootens met in the hospitals. The foundation allows them to take “time out” from the demands associated with their child’s care.
“We ask them, ‘What will help you?’” Ann said. “Gym memberships, a spa day, dinner and a movie, whatever will give them a breather. I’ve developed relationships with hotels across the Valley for the most popular request: a weekend away at a resort.”
The Willow Tree Foundation provides support throughout Arizona. And one of their best received programs comes in the form of single-day retreats for moms. These getaways (offered free of charge) have included breakfast and lunch, and activities like painting, yoga, mindfulness, and dancing.
Ann said there is immediate connection among women who don’t know one another, but who have a deep understanding of the life they all live. “They could talk about feeding tubes, ventilators, seizures, wheelchairs and more, without fear of overwhelming the person they’re speaking to. Hearing the laughter, support, and compassion is incredibly moving.”
The retreats help the mothers understand the importance of self-care and nurturing their relationships in the midst of extreme caregiving. And dads haven’t been left out: the foundation is hosting its first ever dads’ bowling event in August.
Parenting is difficult in the best of situations. But in the midst of all the insanity and suffering that comes with a medically fragile child, life is lonely and isolating.
“Everyone wants recognition for their job,” Ann said. “I know they’re weary. I think the work of the Willow Tree Foundation is like saying, ‘I see you. I know how hard this is. You’re doing a great job.’ That really means something coming from someone who gets it.”
Jack Schrooten died on January 5, 2014, at the age of 15. The Willow Tree Foundation continues on in his memory. But why a willow tree?
The willow doesn’t have much of a trunk and its branches are long and bending, giving the appearance of being weak and fragile. Yet, the tree’s expansive root structure gives it strength. When a storm rages, the willow stands strong, ever bending, never breaking.
Like its namesake, the Willow Tree Foundation provides moments of calm in the storm of caring for a medically fragile child.
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Judy Pearson is a journalist, published author, and the founder of A2ndAct.org. Her organization supports and celebrates women survivors of all cancers as they give back to the greater good in their 2nd Acts. Her passion is finding those who have healed themselves by helping others.