In Peoria, 6 Adopted Kids in 3 Years Make Open Hearts Feel Full

By Mike Saucier

They are a family of 11 living in Peoria. Two loving parents, with their three biological children and six others by way of the foster-to-adopt process. Nine children under one roof – three girls, six boys. White, black/Hispanic and Native American. From nine months to 12-years-old.

For the parents, Nicole and Ben (last names omitted to protect the adopted children), it all started when they met in seventh grade and became best friends and then began dating after high school. Nicole said fostering and adopting children was just always something they wanted from a young age.

“It was something that was very much in our hearts,” Nicole said. “I didn’t really understand what it took but always wanted to help children who’d been abused. Biologically, we knew that after three we were done by those means – we didn’t want to pursue any more biological children. We said once the time was right that if a child ever came up for adoption we’d go that route. We didn’t imagine that in two years it would be six more kids. We didn’t think that for a second.”

As they began the foster and adoption classes, they were only thinking about taking in one child. But their hearts changed and they felt led to help siblings stay together, she said. Four of the six adopted children they have are siblings.

According to Arizona’s Children Association, the largest and oldest foster care provider in the state, more than 17,000 children statewide are awaiting placement. The association is looking for more people like Nicole and Ben that can open their hearts and homes as a foster parent. May is National Foster Care Month.

Most of the kids come from horrible beginnings, Nicole said, but those thinking about fostering or adoption should not let that deter them. There’s pain that comes with adoption because it starts with loss.

“I think there are so many people who have it in their hearts to foster but they just don’t pursue it because it’s intimidating or it’s scary or they’re worried,” she said. “They think, ‘What if these kids come in and hurt my biological children?’ I had all those fears, I really did. I actually only wanted to foster young kids, only under two before God quickly changed my heart. I’m so grateful because we brought in older kids and my soul has been forever changed by that.”

There are obvious logistics challenges in making sure the laundry is done and meals are made, but taking in children will profoundly change those who follow their hearts and make the choice to foster and adopt, she said.

“You can’t meet these children and not be changed by them,” Nicole said. “You just can’t. Their lives, their stories. Regardless if they’re going to stay forever or six months you love them like they’re your own because that’s just what you do. Foster, adopted or biological, my heart does not know which ones came from my body.”

The children can’t seem to tell either.

Nicole said that an onlooker would not be able to tell, outside of skin color, that her children have not been siblings since birth and have been together for only two and a half years. She and Ben had to adjust to being parents of children from different racial backgrounds but for the kids it came naturally.

“I know that’s not a story for everyone,” she admitted. “Some people say their biological kids and adopted kids struggled to attach, but we’ve been extremely blessed.”

Taking in six children was not motivated by a religious calling, Nicole said, but she believe God put in in their hearts to help children.

“I don’t think it was by accident that me and my husband do this,” she said. “I came from a really abusive childhood and so I always knew from journal entries as a teenager that if I had a dream I’d help abused children in foster care. So even though I didn’t understand exactly what foster care was, I knew there was a lot of kiddos that didn’t have a mom who tucked them in at night or a dad to go teach them how to ride a bike and I think every kid should have that.”

When she gets a moment to reflect, she likes to think about what their Christmases are going to be like when they have nine grown children with spouses and all their kids.

“I mean I can’t imagine how many grandchildren we can possibly have,” she said. “I can’t wait to see them when they’re adults, with all their different cultures – that’s exciting to me.”